Day 16 - Meet & Greet

Today we had a special opportunity that only occurred because of Alice's incredible memory. We were able to spend over 3 hours with the foster family that cared for her from the age of 2 until she was moved back to the orphanage 6 years later. They told us that the orphanage discouraged visits and didn't permit Alice to call them during the nearly 5 years before we adopted her. They learned she was going to be adopted and going to America and requested permission to visit Alice one more time before she left. They tried every avenue they could, but were not allowed. Clearly they were heartbroken about that. Fortunately, Alice remembered their phone number and address over the years and was able to call them from Maryland. When we were talking about what we wanted to do in Beijing, Alice requested a visit with them. I am so glad we did.
I have much to share about that visit, but I am still processing some of it. We also have some wonderful pictures that will be added after I get back home. Come back next week and reread this post!
Update: Here are the pictures from our visit. This is Alice and Amy after Alice's foster mom grabbed her arm and swept her away upon our arrival.

This is a picture of Alice (wild pig tails) with her foster parents and her sister, Shui Chun Cheng, another orphan they cared for.

Shui Chun Cheng is still with them. She is just a few months younger than Alice and has Down Syndrome. She is mostly nonverbal. About 4 months after Alice went back to the orphanage in Beijing, the family was given another orphan, a boy, to care for. He is still with them. He is 8 years old, very delayed and completely nonverbal. The 2 kids stayed in this bedroom, adjacent to the living room where we sat. The bed they are on is heated by burning wood underneath. The top is a sheet of wood covered with contact paper. There were no toys visible in the room. The kids were in this room the entire 3.5 hours of our visit, without adult supervision or any type of entertainment or stimulation. These are good parents, but I can't imagine these kids living like this day after day for years. This was very difficult for me once I learned they were there.

This gentleman said he was like a second father to Alice (and the other orphans fostered in the village). He is very fond of children. His wife works for the local "branch" orphanage and they adopted a girl themselves. Alice's foster parents said they considered adopting Alice, but felt that they couldn't give her enough opportuniities.

This is most of the lunch we were served. There was actually more, including 3 huge platters of homemade dumplings at the end of the meal!

In these next 2 pictures you can see about 90% of the living room.

In this picture above is left to right:

The college-age son, me, Amy, Alice, foster mom and foster dad.

As in a typical hutong-type house, the main living area is on the north side of the courtyard with south facing windows. This maximizes the solar heat during the winter months. Through the red/blue door is the living room where we visited and ate. The first window to the left is also the living room. The next window is the kids' bedroom. I assume there is a similar bedroom to the right of the door.

In the picture above you can just see the window of the kitchen building on the extreme right side of the picture. In the picture below the door on the extreme left is the entrance to the wash room where there is a sink and hand held shower. The toilet is a rustic squatty potty outside the house/courtyard. The door next to the open window is the entrance into the kitchen where our lunch was made. It takes up just half of this building.

This wall is outside the house (near the outhouse). The character represents happiness or blessing.

Our car was parked next to this "truck". I snapped this picture just before we left and Steve was tickled with it. He said it's one of his favorites! LOL

After the visit with the foster family and feasting on the incredible lunch they made for us we headed back into Beijing to visit Ya Fen (Tracy), the girl at Bethel that we sponsor. Amy was especially excited about the visit. Bethel has 3 apartments near the Beijing School for the Blind for the children who graduate from their school program at the Doudian farm. These are the kids most likely to develop the skills needed to live independently as adults. There are more boys than girls at Bethel overall and 2 of the 3 apartments are for boys. We only had time to visit the girls, but it was a lovely visit.
All of the children are taught social skills and visitors give them opportunity to practice. Tracy greeted us and brought each of us a cup of water. When it was time to leave she was reminded to "look us in the eye" as we said our farewells. Looking at the person you're speaking to is just a sample of one of the social gestures that we (sighted folks) don't think about.
The other 3 girls in the apartment stayed busy reading (they have a nice bookshelf with many braille books for the girls to read, plus a few books in English too). Hana, the oldest of the girls was asked to come speak to me at one point. All of the children receive instruction in English above and beyond what they get at school. English-speaking visitors are the perfect chance to practice. Hana was clearly nervous, but once I started asking her questions she relaxed and did a wonderful job.

A positive outcome from the visit with the Bethel kids, both at the party and at their apartment, was that Amy was introduced to the use of a cane by kids like herself. When I brought up the subject of using a cane in America on our way to visit her school and orphanage the first week, she was pretty adament that she didn't need or want a cane. After some discussion in the car she relented a bit, but it wasn't something she really wanted. One of the Chinese Bethel staff spoke to Amy about canes when we were at the party. I don't know how that conversation went, but she seemed more interested in canes after that. We told her during the performance that all the children, even the toddlers, have canes which peaked her interest. She "played" with one of the canes in the apartment just before we left and then asked if I would buy her one when we got to America!!!! Yea!! I told her there is one already waiting for her at home. She was disappointed that it isn't the collapsible kind like the Bethel kids have, but it will be a good first cane for her.
In the car after the Bethel party, Amy said she really liked Tracy and wants us to adopt her. Then she said she like Michael too, so maybe we could adopt two. Then she said why not just adopt all the Bethel kids! I told her that Alice made similar requests right after we adopted her, asking first for one friend, then another and then why didn't we just "clean out" the orphanage. Alice also asked why our neighbors didn't adopt. They all have bigger houses than we do, so they had room for the kids we didn't have space for! Many, not all, but many of the kids who are adopted realize they are the lucky ones and their friends may not get the chance to be adopted. It is touching, but hard to answer their questions about why not this child or that child, why more people don't adopt. Sometimes I just don't have an answer.